I got this comment from a parent on Tuesday when I blogged about Grandparents Day.
You would probably hate me in real life.
I'm the mom who never shows up for anything. I hate "facetime" at school. I have tons of facetime with my kids after school.
The grandparents, though, can still be seduced. I'll send them your way.
I'm the mom who never shows up for anything. I hate "facetime" at school. I have tons of facetime with my kids after school.
The grandparents, though, can still be seduced. I'll send them your way.
I had to look twice to make sure I read it right. I hope that any parents that put in "facetime" in my classroom do it for their child, not for me. Parent involvement and attention is a form of acknowledgment for your child!
Research shows that children do much better in school when parents communicate regularly with teachers and make efforts to become involved in the school. Even if it's only once a year, and you have to take a half-day off from work to do so, I would recommend that you do it. Come and spend time in your child's classroom, or just have lunch. I see my students get so excited when they see their parent in our classroom. It sends a very powerful message to the child that you care about her as well as her education.
In most schools, you don't need an excuse to visit the classroom. Just ask the teacher if you can come in to volunteer, join the class on a field trip, tutor, or just come for a special event.
In the short time I have been a part of the blogging world, I have been so impressed by Moms like Adrienne, Debbiedoos, ~J, Shell, Debbie- Single Complicated, Velvet Over Steel, and Kelly who blog about helping in the classroom, going on a field trip, or just having lunch with their child. I wonder how they would respond if you asked one of their children if the "facetime" made a difference. Adrienne and Velvet have blogged about how hurt their child was at the lack of involvement in school activities from an absentee Dad.
Tomorrow night I will have my annual party for my class in my home. We will have pizza, juice boxes, and special activities. The boys get to play in the tree-house we built for our daughter when she was little and play ball. The girls are going to get a manicure. Then we are all going to watch a movie. I wonder how my little charges would react if I told them " Sorry.....no party! I have plenty of facetime with you during school! I don't need anymore."
Let me throw that question out to all the Moms and Dads out there. What do you think about "facetime" in the schools?
As a former teacher, I know what a difference it can make. It's a big reason why I'm not sure if I will go back to teaching once my children are in school. Because I want to volunteer in each of their classrooms once a week, as well as help the teacher with anything else that they need(like taking things home to cut out or making bulletin boards or that sort of thing).
I want to know what my child's learning environment is like and get to see for myself all that goes on. That way, I can better help my child.
Some might say that you have to let your child go at some point, but I see it as helping. It would help me to understand what is going on if my child is struggling with schoolwork or even if they are bored or what.
Yes, I will be an involved parent(I already am, to some extent, though preschool teachers don't want quite as much help) and I think my kids will appreciate it...until it embarrasses them when they are older. ;)
Gee, I can't imagine the preschools not wanting as much help. I love having parents come in. Besides, it eases their minds to know what is going on in the classroom.
Still cheering for Mason to win Shell. Everybody go over to Things I Can't Say and vote for Shell's little boy!!!
http://thingsicantsay-shell.blogspot.com/
Wow. I think that comment is so sad. I'm not a parent, but my parents were super-involved when I was in school. My mom was home room mother almost every year, volunteered in our classes, was on the PTA, helped with school plays, gym shows, art shows, carnivals, parades, and the like. My brother and I went to different schools, so she had double duty. Every teacher knew her well, and we were so much better for it. When we needed special accommodations, they were more likely to make them; when we got in trouble, they were more likely to pick up the phone and call home. Plus we felt really special that everyone knew and liked our mom. My dad worked, but he never missed a play, sporting event, Dad's day, father-daughter dance, etc.
I know not everyone has the luxury of that kind of time, but the parents who think that being a presence in their kids' schools is mere "facetime" are, in my opinion, doing their kids a disservice. You don't stop being a parent when you drop your kids off at school.
P.S. Manicures? Can I be one of your students???
Yellow House knits,
It sounds like it really made an impression on you as a child that your Mom took the time to get involved in your school. I think even one event a year or simply joining the child for lunch makes all the difference in the world...to the child.
What time would you like your manicure?
I agree. Even the occasional appearance would mean a lot!
I'll take whatever availability you have! :)
I spent 4 years teaching preschool and am an active parent volunteer and PTA member at my kids school. I get SOOOO tired of seeing the same 50 parents (out of 600+ kids) doing all the work! Parents want their kids to have field trips, class parties, and extra tutoring in the classroom but dont want to be involved. School should not be someplace you send your kid for 8 hours just so they are out of your hair! Do you know what they are learning? Or who their friends are? Or what kind of teacher they have? I had one parent of my preschool kids tell me, in her exact words, "I dont care what you teach her". How insulting is that as a teacher? I realize it's just preschool, but come on, thats insulting!
Oh no, parent involvement is so important! It adds so much to the child's experience and makes them feel important in the eyes of their parents. I understand not all parents can be in the classroom, but as a former kindergarten teacher, I say any parent who can- should!! I can't wait to be in Bear's classroom and functioning in whatever way he is comfortable with. Plus, it's been my experience that those kids who don't have family in the classroom, really appreciate other parents coming in.
You are so very sweet to offer to do a silhouette for Bear! Thanks you- I'll get a photo to you ASAP :)
Well said Turning Back the Clock! As a former teacher, you know as well as I do that we provide those opportunities for the parent and child.....not for us. It really makes a difference when we work as a team! You summed it up better than I did!!! Bravo!!!!!!!
I don't get as much face time at school as I'd like. I truly can't afford a babysitter for the young ones, and they are not allowed at school (rightfully so). I do find other ways to gain my face time.
My kids love to play soccer and other sports. I make it a point to be team mom/manager for their teams. Committed to making it to their games and practices, and I get to take the young kids with me.
As for school, I do what ever I can to make it to all special school events. I want my kids to realize I am so very proud of any and all accomplishments.
Yellow House Knits,
You not only qualify for a manicure, but we are going to throw in a pedicure for you. Have a great evening my blogging buddy.
Dear Oka,
Even one special event a year means a lot to a child. Just watching your child in a program will make the child feel so special! Thanks for your comment!
I think it's because they have shorter days. I have helped with all their parties and gone on all the field trips, though.
But, the classes are super-small, which is why I chose to send them there. There's only 4 kids in my middle son's class. :)
Thanks for the votes for my Mason!
Who could look at little T.J. and not want to come and have lunch with him at school. If you bloggers want to see a cutie pie, go to http://any-given-moment.blogspot.com/.
I agree with you. It really adds to the child's experience. Thanks so much for your comment.
Thanks for the kind words ...I try so hard to do everything for Buggy boy and if I could be there more than one day a week in the early morning I would ... we read and sing and learn all the time and I try to plan for every event ...we do every after school event because I am usually available for those...This party sounds so Great! Also I thought I would tell you Crystal and I are cousins ...We grew up in the same tiny town and we used to run around and cause trouble together! She is the closest thing I have to a sister. Happy Friday!
Adrienne,
I think the world of both of you. You are a wonderful Mommy and I so admire you. Blessings
Shell,
I have to tell you, when I got home from school, the first thing my daughter said was "I know, I know...go vote for Mason!" lol
So.... When I was growing up my parents both worked and "back then" there was not much time off for your kids at their jobs. My parents almost never came to anything at school. I even recieved the presidential acedemic achievement award in 5th grade and they were not there. Now, having said that - I totally understand, I'm not upset about it, but I remember always being disappointed that they weren't there.
My daughter is in preschool and barring some unforseen emergency situation - I will ALWAYS be at her functions for school. I have volunteered in her class and was the "assistant" for a whole day. (exhausting!). I am disappointed in the fact that neiter set of her grandparents live close enough to participate in anything for her school.
I really have never considered it "facetime" - I do it for her and my husband does it for her - not for her school.
That is the way it should be Janel. Good for you. Your daughter will remember it, I guarantee it.
How sweet of you to mention me. My current post is all about an outing with my son, may have been odd but I loved every minute of it!~ I would never change all the facetime I have put into showing up at my boys school. It is not only a pleasure to help the teacher, I in turn am helping my son receive more quality time with his teacher, teaching him. Parent volunteers are awesome and it is a win win for all involved! I worked the middle school book fair today, I can't get their enough....thanks for a great post!
Sorry for the typos in my post, I am dead tired! I think I typed their instead of there....you get the gist lol!
I never missed anything with my 4 kids. Even volunteered to do testing in Units Math at the Jr. High. I hung in there until they got to the age that I was an embarrassment and then I retired.
Now for my family I love homeschooling. It is the right fit.
BUT if my son would have had an open classroom in kindy like yours sounds like to be ...he would most likely still be in PS. I need to do a whole post on it another time but when I wanted to be involved...like you describe, in my sons classroom I was told parents were not allowed in the school during school hours.(unless a parent teacher conference) I kid you not. That was the moment (well it took 20 minutes to talk to my hubby) I decided this was not the right situation for my son or I. I WANTED to be involved. I talked to another friend a couple weeks ago that had the same experience years ago with the same school.
You sound like an AWESOME teacher!!! your school does too! We are in the same state I think...I am in the western part. What part are you in?
Once again WTG!!!
I always liked seeing my child in the school environment, but I was a very bad volunteer.
Need proof? Read this if you have time:
http://bossybetty.blogspot.com/2010/04/volunterin-with-betty.html
Warning: You may divorce me as a Blog Buddy after you read it!
it means the world to the child....How could you not?
I attended every event my children's school held because I "thought" I had too, now when my grandchildren were small I attended because I wanted to, nothing would of kept me away and I realized I would never have missed my children's either. Those were fun times and good memories.
.......:-) Hugs
Great, thought provoking post! As a homeschooling mom, I'm definitely involved in my kids education, but shouldn't every parent be? I don't mean that everyone has to homeschool, but no matter where your kid is schooled the education is the parent's responsibility. The parent is hiring the teacher to do that part of their job for them.
When my son was in Kindergarten in public school I volunteered in his classroom once. I would have liked to more often, but parents were not welcome in that class . . . and hence our beginning of homeschooling.
I'm a teacher now - 5th grade to be exact. I have some parents who come in on a regular basis to watch (or help with) literature responses, class parties, or just to read with small groups.
I have 2 moms this year who make appearances all the time, and both of their boys love it. There's something they find thrilling that their parents make it to the classroom. One boy always comments, "Yeah, that's MY mom!"
It's more than just 'facetime' at home. You are sending a powerful message which will not soon be forgotten.
I am not a parent, but have worked a lot in CA schools. I've NEVER heard the term "facetime." It sounds like a fan club group on facebook. But you sound like a wonderful teacher to be hosting a party at your home. What pure fun!
Thanks for the comment and follow too.
Cheers,
Robyn
Back in my day....we used to have a thing called "Education Week", where the school was "Open House", and parents could drop in on their child's classroom to observe.
I used to love when my mom would show up. The teacher always made a point to pay extra special attention to the students whose parents were there. :) I must have been a little show-off, because I actually enjoyed that.
My son loves it if I am off work and take him to school.
Hugs RosieP x
I'm a facetime mom. I often pick my children up and see their teachers regularly. I go on (at least) one field trip each per year and attend as many events as I can. The year that my son was in kindergarten, I did a project one a month in the classroom. We made mats for kwanzaa, peanut butter bird feeders, egg carton flowers, charoses for Passover, and other projects.
"Research shows that children do much better in school when parents communicate regularly with teachers and make efforts to become involved in the school."
I recall begging parents of slacking and/or discipline problem students to come in and make a plan with me. Most times it fell of deaf ears. I don't understand it. Why do you have a child? What do you want for your child?
That comment is kind of sad, isn't it? While I appreciate the uninterrupted time to get things done while Princess Nagger's in school, I think I have just as much fun as she does with the various events after school they have during the year.
I wish Princess Nagger's school wasn't so 'prison-like'. But on the other hand, at least I know she's safe when she's there. You can't just show up (even with prior notice) to volunteer in the classroom - first you have to pay to get a Police Background Check, then pay for a Child Abuse Background Check, and once those clearances come back, fill out a ton of paperwork at the school office and wait for 'approval' by the school board before they issue you a visitor/volunteer badge.
I would love more face-time and be able to volunteer at Princess Nagger's school - I was late filling out the massive amounts of paperwork for this year, so next year I'll start with that process early (you know, like next week) so I can do some volunteering next year. :)
Hubby took today off work so we could go to the 'Lunch With Your Child' event we had to RSVP for a month ago. :) I think I'm just as excited for lunch with PN as she is! :)
As a single mom, it was tough to be there all the time for my daughter's school activities. But, I was there when I could be. I wouldn't have missed those times for anything. (She's grown and on her own now)
Wow, I would never think to call spending time at your child's school "facetime." Children spend soooo much time in school...it's like their home away from home, and a major contributor to who they are (and grow up to be).
We homeschool at this time, but there was a time when my oldest went to school and I was involved as much as possible (hard with 2 littles), even if it was just to read a favorite book to the class. One year, we had a Mother's Day tea. The pride of those kiddos getting their pictures taken with their moms (and all the moms were there), and sharing the poems they had written was incredible. They were beaming. There was a lot of gratitude in that room for the teacher who made it happen. And I don't think anyone there thought it was "facetime."
I could hardly believe that note....I was so excited to spend anytime I could to see my daughter in a learning setting!!
Now that I have a grandson in First Grade..I attend everything that I can also and must say that he has had the most wonderful teachers!!!
Wishing you a great day!!!
I am SO glad that you blogged about this subject!
When we were at kindergarten registration last spring, the parents were taken to the library for a meeting with the principal. She talked to us for awhile about the joys of school life and then took time for Q&A. I asked her for any advice she could give us nervous parents who were going to have a hard time letting go of our kids...she said "Get involved! Volunteer in the classroom, come to lunch, we'd love you to join the parent group!"
That was the best advice! I have developed a great relationship with her teacher, the kids all know me well and we have a lot of fun together. My daughter sees that we think that her education is important and she loves to see us there.
I think I get more out of it than anyone! Sometimes it's crazy and I leave feeling a little frustrated. In my own opinion, the kids that are dying for my attention in the classroom or the playground are the one's who have parents that are totally uninvolved. I can only imagine what goes on at home and I feel a little sad.
Yesterday, our kindergarten class went on a field trip to the bowling alley. We had 12 parents who volunteered their time and it was so awesome! It made life easier for our much appreciative teacher, and everyone had a wonderful time. It is SO IMPORTANT to be there!
Thank you!!!
I volunteer in my kids classrooms all the time. I get to know their teachers, their friends, and their environment. It is so important to me to do this. I want to make sure they are doing well and know I am there for them. Their little faces light up everytime I walk in the room. It is so worth it to me to have face time in their classes.
Aww :( That makes me SO sad. I absolutely LOVE going to my child's classroom. I LOVE going on field trips with them. And I am ecstatic that at their school parents can have lunch with their children EVERY DAY if they want to!! I just went and had lunch with them yesterday :) I can't do it EVERYDAY because I have the 3 year old. But the smile on their face when I do have lunch with them or surprise them with a classroom visit just makes my day!
I have been both a working mom and a stay at home mom. This year, my son started kindergarten and I have BLESSED enough to be available to work PT at my son's school and volunteer, as well. It has been one of the greatest experiences of my life. I have a wonderful relationship with my son's teacher so I get a daily thumps up or down update on his day. My son knows that I am in touch with her and that he is accountable. I don't know that I will always be able to stay home but I hope that I will be always be able to make some face time. I am so thankful for caring teachers like my mom, my son's teacher, and you. You are shaping lives!!!
I think it's so sweet that you're having a party at your house. My
6th grade teacher did that at the end of the school year and I will never forget it. We loved her so much.
When my son was in elementary school, I was a face mom. In Kindergarten, I volunteered in the classroom once a week. My son really looked forward to me being there. I attended field trips when I could. I even Volunteered to help with the parties. It was fun for both my son and I. As a teacher, I really enjoyed it when parents volunteered in the classroom.
Wow. Facetime. Is that what some call it now? I work and do not get to pop in as much, but I go to every event they have for parents and chaperone whenever I get my name in first. I went to Savannah, Ga. recently with my 8th grader and her whole class (200 plus) and it was a blast! I am going on a bike ride with my 11 year old son and his class soon for Relay for Life and we are both so excited! Even if you can not go often, make a big splash by attending an event that means a lot to them! You sound like a teacher I would want my kiddos to have! I am loving your blog. Have a great weekend and keep up the good work. We need many more like you!
This makes me so sad and mad and disappointed.
It was a wonderful post but I really, really want to scream at some of these people like this.
You are amazing.
I have never heard it called "facetime"-interesting...
I think everyone is pretty much on the same page here. I volunteered with my 5 kids all through school, and they loved it. In fact when my oldest son graduated he had friends tell him they wished they had parents that cared as much as his parents did.
Trust me, it sends a message...
I now volunteer in my grandkids classes, and am lovingly called "Grandma Peggy" by more kids than I an count. I do it because I love children and I love helping them however I can. What more is there to say?
PS. My daughter Kyrstin, (See What I Did Today) enjoys your blog tremendously:)
You know, on the opposite side (but my kiddo IS still only in preschool and the teachers don't seem very invested) the teachers make my face time hard. I have asked every class for three weeks what time his little graduation is. They don't know. I ask how he is in school....we have been over that before. I think face time is EXTREMELY important. And in fact I wish I knew more about what my little guy did at school.
I love your button! I am snagging it!
Thanks for your comment in my blog. It's been a crazy week but I know this will turn out for the better, for all of us.
As for "facetime", I loved those moments when I'd see my parents in school (preschool and elementary). It gave me the impression that they were really looking out for me and interested in how I am in school. I have very strong connections with my parents, even stronger now with my mom since my father passed away 12 years ago.
Because of them, I will definitely make it a point to do the same to my children. I will try to look out for them but still try to maintain some distance for them to grow into their own identities :)
You sound like a wonderful teacher!!!! I agree with most everything you say!!! We have many things that parents can do at my school for "face time" but in first grade being in the classroom during teaching time is not one of them. In our K classes parents come in and help with centers but in the upper grades they help out in other ways. Sometimes taking small groups out to work with them. Our parents eat lunch, read to the class on Fridays, field trips and field day and many many more activities. I would love to know your views on parents being in the classrooms in the upper grades. Oh I just thought of sometime .....a great post would be a guide for parents working in the classroom....I would love to see a post on that and I am sure some of your parent readers would too.
You know, this really makes me angry. This is a parent who is using school as a "daycare" of sorts, or so it seems. Besides, who could ever have enough "face time" with their children?
When I was a child in school, my parents were there for everything. And I loved it.
*growl*
Thanks for stopping by the blog!
http://www.capricornsoapco.blogspot.com
-Christina
i hope i never look at it as facetime...we volunteer every week at my sons school...i particularly like art class, my wife reads for story time...if you want your kids to think its important its got to be important to you as well...
There are two reasons to show up at school -- one is to show your child how much you value his/her education, and the other is to communicate with the teacher, so that she knows what's going on at home, and you know what's going on at school.
I've had lots of situations where a child starts behaving really badly, and the parent never bothers to inform me that they just moved to a new house, or grandma just died, or dad just left the family, or whatever. I think it would be great if parents showed up to make a connection and work together with the teacher to help the child.
And it's not just that I'd like to know more about the child from the parent, it's also important for the parents to know and care about what is happening at school. I'm not just a babysitter! We're doing some cool stuff, and if parents took an interest, they could extend that learning at home.
I love for my parents to come and visit anytime! I have a recipe card box full of cards that each have a different way a parent can volunteer. When a parent comes in, I ask them to check the box for ways they can help, it explains how to works with children iin each of our centers, classroom rules, reading ideas, etc. This keeps me from taking teaching time to explain how a parent can help. I disagree with Shell, as a pre-k teacher I think I "set the stage" for teaching parents how to work ina classroom. Waht thrills my soul is when I have 20 kids going on a field trip and 25 adults going! This shows me that my parents are comfortable and enjoy being in my classroom.
I would love to see your 2 acres of flowers, I only hope I don't kill all my new treasures!
Good for you for calling that mom out on this. I am always amazed that people don't want to be a true part of their kids' lives.
I get plenty of facetime with my middle kiddo...not the kind I'd like unfortunately...I've found with my children, that my participation w/ their schooling has been greatly impacted by their teachers...good and bad. I wish there were more teachers like you out there...in that event...you wouldn't be able to run me out of there!
On a serious note..I was always classroom active with my kids thru elementary school...after that-it's not been needed/wanted.
I am amazed at that parent's comment. And I feel very sorry for her kids. I was always interested in what my kids were doing at school (usually more than they wanted me to be) and participated every chance I got, even though I worked outside the home. One of the elementary schools that my granddaughter went to had a program where they watched for eager parents and grandparents and asked them to give programs to the kids. They'd work with your area of expertise or suggest age appropriate ideas. I thought it was wonderful!
Wow! This got a response, we are a passionate bunch!!:) I home schooled my son until he was 12. But once he was in school, I was active as he needed me to be. By the time he hit his teens and in another brand new college prep school, he wanted to take the reigns. He does mentoring and volunteering within his school and he wants us to come to his events. As a teenager we let him lead. He is after all eighteen, he has to start making those decisions at one time or another. He needs to feel in control. When he wants us there we are there in a heart beat! And that's both of us working, me well over full-time. All I will say is this,they are only kids once, parents take advantage of it.
Facetime at school . . . interesting title. I prefer to think of it as "important, quality time, a glimpse into your child's school life, a way to develop a partnership with the school." I'm a bit of a zealot about "facetime."
It is important for the kids to feel like their parents are involved and care. That's why I'll happily volunteer and participate in "facetime".
I saw that comment and had to read and re-read it a few times to make sure I understood what it said. It really upset me.
Sadly, time flies by and my three daughters are all either grown or are almost there. Through the years, we have gone through various seasons that have allowed us to either be at school pretty much as often as we have wanted OR sometimes not very much at all. Regardless, no matter how young or how old they are, every time our girls see us show up at school - whether it is just for lunch or to help out a little in the classroom OR for some big production they are involved in that they have been preparing for for months, like a band concert or a Senior play - their faces light up like it is Christmas morning! Kids just want to know you are there and that you care. The world tries to preach this 'quality VS quantity' cr@p and it is simply not true! Our kids need us around as much as we can possibly be there! Period.
Thanks for putting this up for discussion! I am enjoying all the comments.
{{HUGS}}
Teresa <><